Another perk to being at home with the kidlets is that apparently I have all day to make phone calls to customer service reps at certain not-to-be-named companies when they inevitably f-up my bill. Last week I just so happened to make one of those calls. This one was a bit different though. I had gotten the mail out of the mailbox and noticed a credit card pre-approval envelope addressed to me had been opened. Not just a ripped corner or a tear from the machines at the post office; it was entirely opened. And I couldn’t find the application page. Ugh. Now normally, I would just let it go knowing that now-a-days it’s extremely hard to steal someone’s identity with one credit card application. You need SSN’s and a butt-load of personal details. But I had been reading on Next Door (shout out!) that there had been a couple of recent incidences of stolen mail in the neighborhood. So I thought it best to be safe and call this company that had sent me the mail that I never wanted or asked for to ensure some other doofus doesn’t apply for a credit card pretending to be me. Seriously, what a waste of my time.
Right away I knew this conversation was going to be awesome when the first thing I hear is a recording saying ‘thank you for your call. We are experiencing high call volumes and will get to your call in the order it was received. Thank you for your patience.’ Nothing like setting yourself up to fail. So I wait for what’s seems like an eternity (in reality it’s more like 8 mins; and yes I checked on my phone) and finally someone picks up. I explain the situation and she transfers me to customer service. They are the ones who can handle that for me. Sweet- things are looking good. 4 mins later a gentleman from Customer Service hears my story and I shit you not, this is what he says ‘I tell you what Mrs. _____, I’m going to do you one better. I’m going to transfer you to the team that handles all of our new accounts. Any and all questions you may have about opening up a credit card can be answered by them.’ Wait, what? At no point did I mention that I wanted to apply for a card. In fact, I explicitly said I wanted to be taken off their mailing list. I explain everything again and he grunts in agreement and transfers me anyway. 7 mins later, I speak to the New Accounts team who surprise, surprise are unable to help me with my request. I need to speak to the Fraud team. Now as you know, I’m a super calm and collected person, but this shit is pushing me over the edge. This poor woman can sense this and promises again that the fraud team is def the place to be. Fine. Whatever. 6 mins later I hear this recording. ‘Thank you for calling _______. Our normal business hours are blah blah blah. We are closed today for the public holiday and will re-open tomorrow as usual. Please call back during our normal business hours.’ Click. That’s right. Four transfers and 25 mins later and nothing. Ka-Boom! My head explodes.