My eldest son is a rule follower. Which from what I’ve seen and read is pretty common for a first born. My husband and I joke that he asks permission and our youngest asks forgiveness. He needs to know how everything works and where everyone should be at any given time and what the rules are for EVERYTHING.
Like any little boy, he loves policemen. Always wants to know where they are and what they can throw you in jail for. He’s noticing when the cops pull people over on the side of the road so has learned about speed limits and tickets. One day we were driving home and he asks me what my phone number is. ‘My phone number?’ I ask. Yes he says, ‘your phone number’. So I tell him and he says, ‘Good. Now I can call the police and tell them where you are and that you are speeding. They will pull you over and throw you in jail.’ I kind of laughed, thinking he was joking, but nope he sat there stone-faced. ‘But I’m not speeding. Why do you think I’m speeding?’ I ask. ‘Because Mom’ he says like I’m the dumbest person in the world, ‘I can tell how fast you are going by looking out the window. And YOU are speeding’. Sure, sure, his logic is flawless. ‘Well,’ I say ‘how about if I slow down a little bit? Will I still have to go to jail?’ Without so much as a hesitation he says ‘that’s up to the policeman, Mom. I don’t make the rules.’ Damn. My son is Cold. As. Ice.
