I’ve had two kids. I know the amazing feeling of becoming a mom for the first time. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced. You would do anything to protect them. Mama bear instinct kicks in like nobody’s business. Awesome, right? Yep, and turns out that every year millions of other parents experience this same feeling (or maybe a different feeling- no judgement!). So you’d think there would be some sort of camaraderie between us all right? Ha ha ha. No.
I was recently at a huge city mall with my family (along with 18 billion other people that day) and it was taking an exceptionally long time to find a parking space. It was obviously fun for all of us. But as luck would have it, a white station wagon pulled out of a spot right near the walkway. Score! So I pull to the side and put my blinker on. I’m not gonna lie, this driver took their sweet time reversing. But, whatever, the spot was mine, so no worries. The driver finally leaves and I’m just about to pull in and Bam! a woman jumps into the space and just stands there. Hmmmm. So I roll down my window and just as I’m about to ask her (super politely and with no anger in my voice whats so ever) what the hell she’s doing in my spot, she shouts out “I have a baby!”. Okay, cool. Babies are awesome, I get it. So how do I respond? “I have two babies!” My kids are 4 and 2 but they’re still my babies so technically I wasn’t lying. She just looked at me. Then her husband jumps into the spot next to her. “We have a baby!” Right, congrats man, we’ve established that. Did they really think that they were the only ones here with a family? Seriously? I mean it’s 4 weeks before Christmas for Christ sakes. Pretty sure the babies outnumber the parents at this place 5 to 1. I shout (I mean politely respond) back “I have two babies!”. But they just stared at me. Nothing. It’s turning into a standoff.
By this point my 4-year old is questioning the situation and I figured I had two options: 1) run them both over and plead ignorance to the police or 2) drive away and find another spot. I thought about it longer than I’d like to admit and finally decided on option 2. But I thought about it all day (no, don’t be silly, I wasn’t obsessing). Should I have given them that spot with no animosity? Was I being an ass for thinking that spot was mine? Should we all roll out the red carpet for new families? Why did they think that their baby trumps common social decency? I mean, I get it, it’s freaking cold in the Midwest. Like freeze your unmentionables off cold. But it’s their choice to have a baby. Society shouldn’t have to bend over backwards because of their choice, right? And I should be the most sympathetic- I’ve had two kids! But here’s the thing you learn as your kids get older: babies are so much easier to keep warm. Think about it. They don’t even have to get out of the car seat. Just plop a blanket over them and transfer the entire seat to the stroller. Done. Their chubby cheeks don’t even have to feel the disgusting freeze of the winter wind. But older children have to get unbuckled from their seat (with the door open, mind you), put on their jacket, mittens and hat and then WALK into the mall. I mean, if you really think about it, older kids have it way worse. Those two a-holes should have been running away with their tails between their legs.
Anyway, since the ‘parking incident’ as it’s now known in my family, I’ve asked friends, family and anyone I come across that is willing to listen what their thoughts on the matter are. In conclusion (and this is a shocker), most people agree that those newbies were out of line. But, it should be noted that more than a couple actually sided with them and argued that babies are fragile and blah, blah, blah. As for my childless friends, well, they think most of us parents are out of our minds and should just shut up already.
